Start from the top down, using one of my all time favorite cleaners and degreasers, Dawn dishwashing detergent. This stuff is superb at degreasing chicken fat or 15/50W baked-on oil. I prefer it to Simple Green and other cleansers because it seems to do a better job of serarating grease from metal and (ladies, are you listening?) it's easier on your hands and not irritating.

In addition to the engine, the inside of your hood is also dirty. Start with a bucket of hot water with generous amount of Dawn. Spray down the inside of the hood/bonnet and start brushing on the suds. On severely built-up oily areas, use a brush, but once the big hunks of oil or grease are gone, use a sponge. It's easy to miss some of the dirt; you can tell if you can becuase all the paint is shiny, just like the body. Rinse, and if still dirty, repeat. We'll get to polishing the paint work later.

A particular problem area on the inside of the bonnet (hood for us Yanks) is right above the fan. This is painted metal just in front of where the inside hood insulation ends. Instead of brushing off the grease, you might want to first scrape the oil off of the underside of the bonnet here with a piece of cardboard and lots of paper towels as it may be built up with over 1/4" of crud. If you don't, the residue of this mess will get all over the front of the radiator and top of engine--creating even more of a mess--before you start cleaning.

Now start on the engine. You should cover your distributor and fuel system electricals with a plastic bag first. (Note: personally, I have not done this and have not had any ill effects, but this is my legal standard saftey disclaimer!) Use a strong "mist" spray and get everything wet, and start scrubbing vigoursly everywhere. Take a little care around electrical connectors, using the sponge and holding them in your hands to get them clean. Don't miss where the bonnet closes to the body, the firewall, the black plate over the top of the radiator, and the inside painted wheel wells. The area in front of the radiator behind the grill and the radiator itself is also dirty, so don't forget those too. Next start on the fuel rails area, letting plenty of suds go into the vee of the engine. Vigorously scrub the cam covers as best you can ( as ponge and some long skinny fingers can jus tfit under the intake pleniums. The air cleaners are oily all over, especially on the inside and bottom. Keep in mind that if you have a lot of dirt and grease, your water will be getting dirty fast. The key is do not wash parts with greasy water ...you'll only spread the dirt around. Dump the water when its starts to get dirty and refill with hot water and Dawn. The more frequently you change the water and refill with soap, the better the results. It may not all come off the first time, but this is still stage 1.

The last part is the fan area and the front of the engine. This will be the dirtiest part, and the Dawn will only make a dent in it but not do the whole job (hey, its not perfect). That takes us to the next step.

Step 2--Degreasing the engine
Steam cleaning is an alternative, but from experience, this method can damage pipes, seals, etc. This is only for the really neglected engine that is coated with muck as only a first step. What it needs is a good cleaning. There are a lot of engine degreasers on the market. "Gunk" (brand) is the traditional favorite, but not mine. There are also lots of "foamy" cleaners. In my opinion, these also don't do the job, and actually manage to leave an even film of dirt and grease over everything, and recommend avoiding them.

The best engine degreasing product is called "Gumout [brand] Steam Premium Xtra Duty Cleaner Degreaser". It's in a black can with shiny lettering and is a spray on liquid. It is hard to find (and actually, may not be available as of this latest update!) Spray it generously on all of the greasy parts that the dawn did not get and let sit for 15-20 minutes, then hose it off. The first time, it won't get everything, but it's a start. At this point, try attacking what's left with a fresh bucket of hot Dawn suds and a brush that isn't too dirty. Remember, you may have to sacrifice a few of these brushes to the car gods to pay homage to your first attempt at baptizing this baby. Be sure to spray in between the vee, on the cam covers and down below the heat shields too. There is certainly some sediment on the chassis rails on the sides of the engine too. If you can get underneath the car, get the oil pan, lower block, and spray up towards the timing, chain and front of the engine. You can NOT get it all from the top. I've tried and failed. Repeat this process of Gumout Degreaser spray and Dawn. A few small sponges (also to be sacrificed) will get into places where the brushes won't. [One question I have often been asked is why not apply the degreaser first, then the Dawn and hot water. You can, but you'll use three times more degreaser; it's a matter of saving a little money. If you want, reverse steps 1 & 2.]

Did I tell you to wear old clothes? (and ladies, rubber gloves??) If you did this right, you should be pretty dirty by now. The good news, is that the cleaner the engine gets, the easier the job becomes. Keep changing water, grasshopper. The Gumout Engine degreaser also works great on cleaning the fan blades. By this point, you can spot spray the degreaser on trouble spots, then wash off with either a high speed water spray, and/or Dawn and a sponge. Hard to get places like the cam covers and lower front of the engine can ultimately be reached painstakingly by hand. By Jove, there is a lot of plumbing underneath this hood! The vee in the engine and back of the block will have oil deposits on them. Use the same routine as before, and do not be afraid to use the hose aggressively to wash all this stuff away.

An important warning here-- avoid spraying directly on the cam cover edges, distributor, or coils. Other XJ-S owners have reported leaking cam cover gaskets or cars that would not start if water is sprayed carelessly.

Your block will come up a pretty silvery color underneath all that dirt. There are also numerous electrical connector plugs that are coated with varying degrees of oil. Spray the degreaser on them too and rinse and wipe by hand with soap and water until they come clean. I have never had a problem getting them wet (yet...again, wipe down the wires with a sponge and Dawn suds then dry with a clean rag.) Now we know what people talk about when other owners refer to the "Brown-Green Wire, etc." Yes! All the wires are not really black! It also aids in maintenance and debugging too. You'll find that most of the electrical connectors are an off yellow color.

Don't forget all those black water and vacum hoses; they hide dirt really well. Scrub all the way around each hose with Dawn until there is no more black stuff on the sponge and wipe them off with a towel. Later, we'll spiff them up a bit with another trick to make them look even better.

At this point, you may have spent 3 or more hours and you might be pretty pooped. Rome was not built in a day, so you may have to repeat this again some other time. My car was a very clean one owner car, and it took quite a while to get it to a perfected state, so be patient. Also, If you have access to an air hose, blow as much water off the engine you can at this point to prevent any rust from forming on all the steel parts. [Note: another alternative--after drying off the engine, start it up and let it idle for ten or so minutes to evaporate any left over water. Water will collect around the spark plug holes, and in removing mine, found rust around the threads. This will also hple prevent rust from forming on other parts to a degree (however using water on the engine will create rust you never had before--it's a trade-off so deal with it!) You may choose to run the engine after the next step so you'll be working on a cold engine bay.

Step 4- Polishing the Metal
There are a lot of metal parts that can be shined up nicely, if you want to take the time and trouble. Notice all those dull gold-colored pipes, including the fuel rails, throttle linkage, intake manifold and crossover pipes and miscellaneous water and emission pipes? They are actually "fine sterling silver", waiting to be discovered, and can look like chrome if you are VERY PATIENT and have the right equipment! You will need at minimum the following polishes:

• Mother 's Mag and Aluminium Polish
• Eagle One Never Dull Wadding Polish (a cotton type material in a round black can good for shining hard to get to parts with your fingers)
• Brasso
• "Chrome-Magic" and "Alu-Magic" (both available from British Auto USA)

Step 5--Finishing Off Luster
At this point, everything should be clean and neat, and a lot of the metal work shiny. The finishing touches are easy. The same silicon spray I use on the tires (Snap [brand] Silicone Tire Spray--now a Pennzoil product) or a more available alternative, Stoner [brand] Tire Shine works great everywhere on the engine. Use it on the hoses and use it to put a little extra luster on some of the black metal painted surfaces like the plumbing at the front of the engine, the radiator plate, the cam covers. etc. Wipe the metal pieces off with a lint free rag and buff the surfaces by hand. Put it on the electrical wires and hydraulic lines to shine them up too also wipe those down for best results. For extra luster on rubber hoses, I like to dress them for car shows with STP Tire shine. That puts a nice sheen on the hoses, but it does tend to collect dust and grime. That's why its not a good idea to use it on a weekly basis.

Once again, after finishing, please start your engine and get any risidual water to heat-dry off of the engine. This is especially true around the spark plugs. In removing my plugs, there was some rust around them. Nothing that penetrating oil could not solve. So don't make my mistake and let the engine sit "wet" after cleaning it!

Well, we made it! This is the longest and most detailed of the deatiling tips pages, and if you made it this far, you are either
a) Really pissed off you read such a stupid article
b) Never knew there was anybody that crazy about car detailing or
c) Actually got something from it