A Tale of Two Hendersons

When in the course of human events, it becomes neccessary to set the record straight about what is the "purrfect" car to own. This story is about my friends in Sterling, Virginia, Ron & Reba Henderson, and their never ending quest to find "the car".

Ron is a very successful computer peripheral sales professional for Hitachi Data Systems orporation. Having "significant" desposable income, Ron, and his lovely wife, and dear friend of my 'co vivant' Diane, enjoy only the finer things in life.

Every year, my friend Ron, just has to have the latest and greatest of everything. Like, how many people do you know have owned five or more different large screen TVs, satellite dishes, or stereo receivers? Ron has. If its hot, Ron has got it. And if its not, its in the want ads and the latest is being ordered off his cable modem internet connection!

Well, after several years of socializing with Ron & Reba, us always showing up in an assorted Jaguar or so, Ron continued to always get the latest 'hot' car. One year, it's a top of the line Infinit Q45, Mercedes, Acura, whatever. Ron never considere the source of all that is good and pure, despite our swooning over the marque, the Cat from Coventry. That is, until recently.

Did you know that psychologists have determined that the quest modern man has for finding a new car is the exact same drive (pun intended) that stone age man had foraging for food? Let's just call Ron, like all men (are slime..) a stoneage man in modern times. This time of year, on the prowl for a new car.

You know, vindication is a sweet thing because Ron's current driver (until recently) was a top of the line Mercedes Benz (known by us Jaguar culitists as 'the enemy'). He'd had the car only nine months but "it just didn't feel right", he mused, "I just don't like it". So Ron started his hunt....

The Lexus people never returned his call, Mercedes was out, and the fond memories of his Q45 harkened him longingly back to quietly to Sushi-land. But a recent Shirley Bassey TV ad for Jaguar peaked his interest, so he thought he and Reba would take a trip down to the local Jag dealer and check out the sensational new S-Type.

Ron liked the car immediately, but Reba squelched the idea with her persuasive (when she wants to be) "Ronnie" routine....

"Ronnie", she stammered, "this car is a piece of s#!^". Oh well, you can't please all the people all of the time! Even my own Princess Diane exclaimed, upon first seeing the S-Type, "Wayne, it looks like a damn FORD!"

Well Ron is a resourceful guy, and what Ron wants, Ron gets (with a little help of the spirit of Sir William). The salesman wisely put the Hendersons in a new XJ8 Vanden Plas (Daimler to those of you across the pond) and he drove the car.....Boom. It clicked. From the moment he whisked down the street, he was caught in that glorious updraft that all of us Jaguarphiles know so well. "Grace, Space, Pace" as the old Jaguar advertisement goes.

So when Diane and I show up to their house on Thanksgiving Day, 1999, we exchange pleasantries and Ron says, "I've got a surprise for you". Well, Diane and I love surprises, and Ron disappears down the hall for several minutes. He then returns and says, "Come with Me", and we walk out their front door, Diane in the lead.

When Diane rounds the corner outside the house, she practically goes into a spontaneous clothed imitation of 'THE BIG O' (if I have to explain that then this page would not be rated PG....). There, in their drive way, is a brand new 1999 Alpine Green Vanden Plas long wheel base V-8. (Our VDP is also Alpine Green, but an earlier version of it).

Ron can't contain himself. "I tell you, this is the smoothest car I've ever owned", he explained seriously, then turning with a twinkle in his eye, "I love the way this car feels!"

Well. There you have it. Slam, bang, case closed. Will the magic continue? Will Ron & Reba keep their VDP or, ugh, trade it in on some 2001 Bimmer, MB, or Lexass. The plot thickens! So stayed tuned to the continuing story of...

When Lease To Live!

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