Ouch! You Hit My Jaguar!

By Wayne Estrada, Copyright 2001

My "Favorite Brother-in-Law", Jerry Burney, and my sister Monica live in Ukiah, California, deep in the heart of the Wine country and the mighty sequoia redwoods. Despite their remote location, Jerry is a car nut. He has a couple of great specimens in his garage that get driven frequently and some interesting stories to tell about these cars.

His first car is a really neat, throughly modified 1975 Porsche 914. This little car is often used as a fun get away vehicle as a motor transport for Jerry and Monica as he races regionally in many bicycle races (he is ranked in the top ten in his age group!). I've driven this car, and while not a Jag, it's a fun car to drive and experience. It's too bad Porsche and internal politics killed the 914 and 916. They were both interesting cars to drive and look at, both now and then.

Monica and Jerry's other source of pride is this beautiful 1982 maroon Jaguar XJ6 sedan. Like all older Jags, this car has had to have been "sorted through" to get all of the bugs out of it. Jerry has meticulously taken key components of the car apart and either rebuilt or replaced them as needed. Mechanically and visually, the car is a very "straight" car that is a reliable, strong runner, and an enduring reminder of the many great cars produced from the hallowed ground of Coventry, England.

An interesting aspect of this car are the factory chrome "star fish" wheels. In all my years being around Jags, I've never seen this on any other XJ6 of this vintage, nor has anyone I've asked had knowledge of such wheels. However, Jerry bought the car from the original owner and has documented that these were a special order factory item at that time. So if any of you JCNA judges are out there come across such a specimen, this is the 'real deal'.

This is where the Jag story comes in...

First, Jerry is a very calm and low key guy. Nothing rattles him, so in knowing that, this story will make more sense (before you start wenching at it!)

One day, Jerry was parked in a parking lot at a local store waiting for my sister Monica inside. Being a car guy, he parked his XJ6 on the side of the parking lot, front end pointing out so he could see her come out of the store, and away from any possible danger--or so he thought....

While waiting for Monica in the Jag relaxing in the shade, he saw an old man and his wife get into a large white older Cadillac Sedan DeVille. The old fellow started the car, waited a minute or so, and then eased carefully out of his parking space. Unfortunately, the end of this rolling battle axe was creeping ever-so-slowly straight for the left front fender (wing) of Jerry and Monica's XJ6 Series 3!

Jerry sat there, calm as usual, wondering what the old guy would do. Sure enough, his rear end gently tapped the Jaguars maroon front wing, putting a noticible soccer ball sized dent in the car!

Jerry calmly got out of the car and walked up to the drivers window. It was rolled down and the old fellow was trying to pull the shift leaver out of reverse to drive.

"Excuse me Sir", Jerry said politely, "But you just hit my car". The old man turned his head as if in pain and in a whispery voice said matter of frankly, "I Know, and I'll pay for it". "But why did you hit my car?" Jerry asked inquisitively. "Well", the old man stammered, "Me and my wife...were pretty old--and its hard for us to just get around. Glad I still have my drivers license. Going forward is OK, but since I can't see too well anymore or turn my head very far, I just back up until I hit something".

Jerry smiled and replied, "Well", Jerry smiled trying not to laugh, "You hit something". The old man shot back reassuringly, "I'm sorry for hitting your car sir. Like I said, I'll be happy to pay for it." They exchanged names and numbers and the old man and his wife in the Cadiallac lumbered away.

Fortunately, Jerry has a super body shop in little 'ole Ukiah, California and the repaired dent (properly pulled out and leaded in, mind you) was as good as new. And sure to his word, the old guy gladly paid the body shop for the damage....

So what did we learn here?

Well:
a) If someone is ready to hit your car, and you don't want to just "see what will happen", you might toot your horn
b) If you are patient and kind to old people, you might also want to be thankful that sweet spirits like this old couple are in the world to help quietly remind us that we still have youth and our health
c) Either way. Live long, and be happy. One, we are alive, and two, we are driving a Jaguar....

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